When you're blinded by love and infatuation, it's hard to see clearly and notice glaring flaws about your partner. How many of us have looked back after a breakup and thought, "How the @#$% didn't I see that sooner?"
The truth is...it's hard to notice certain things unless you really look for them. Now you don't want to be actively hunting out every little thing wrong with your partner, but at the same time, you don’t want to be in a relationship that’s completely dysfunctional.
When we do come around and notice quirky or downright obnoxious personality traits about our partners, we feel like we might be able to change those quirks.
Don’t be fooled. The only person that can change your partner...is your partner.
Here are 14 different signs you should look out for to see if your relationship is headed down a rocky path.
1. Drama All Around.
Whenever your girlfriend proclaims that she is a drama queen, and fully admits to it, take her at her word. If she often looks for drama in her life, regardless of whether or not it may have anything to do with her, she's trouble. This could mean her purposely stirring up drama in your life, going from one extreme to another instantly, or constantly looking to be the center of attention.
2. Her Friends Are Annoying.
There’s a phrase that goes: “Birds from the same feather flock together," meaning she is most likely like her friends. The problem is that when we’re in a relationship, we often have "relationship goggles", and may not see any annoying traits she has. We can recognize those traits in her friends because we’re not in a relationship with them.
3. She Says Her Exes Are All Jerks.
This could be true, but what’s the likelihood of a normal girl dating a bunch of jerks all the time? This could mean that either she is attracted to jerks (which probably means you are one too), or she could be downplaying her role in all of those breakups. If it was never her fault, then she is probably not willing to take responsibility for her actions from the past.
4. She Flakes...A Lot.
We all make commitments, big and small, in our lives. Most of us stick with them, and trust that others make their commitments too. And trust is one of the biggest, if not, the biggest characteristic in a relationship. If you can’t trust her to stick with what she says, chances are she isn’t the girl for you.
5. Treats Others Like Crap.
Most often you can tell what kind of personality a person has by the way they treat others in public. For instance, watch how she treats the people that wait on her in restaurants. The way people treat strangers is often attributed to their relationships as well.
6. She Demands To Be A Princess.
It’s perfectly fine to treat your girlfriend like a princess, but make sure she doesn’t expect it. When you feel like she’s taking advantage of you or if she might be putting her needs over yours ALL of the time, then that’s definitely a bad thing. Resenting her and just being angry with her all of the time is the usual result here, so either man up and talk to her about it, or move on.
7. You And Her Argue Constantly.
If it’s a constant battle and you are butting heads with your girlfriend every single day, day after day, over anything, then it might be time to get out. Yes, it is true that it is most definitely healthy for couples to argue, but only once in a while. Research shows that in a healthy relationship, a good ratio between negative and positive between you and your girlfriend is 5:1. A hint: if you’re only a few years into it and already arguing constantly, it’s not a good sign.
8. Doesn’t Want You To Spend Time With Friends.
Having a girlfriend who doesn’t mind that you have some time with your bros is ideal. Having one who understands that you need your bro time every so often is even better. When you find that she often guilts you into spending time with her instead of your friends, it’s probably time to break it off. Be careful though, because you don't want to take advantage of an understanding girl by spending very little time with her.
9. She Never Takes Responsibility.
When you find yourself in a relationship and realize that she is never wrong, it’s typically not good news. Whenever there’s conflict in a relationship, both parties are usually at fault for different reasons. But when she’s never wrong and never apologizes for anything, get out.
10. Her Relationship With Her Family Is Not Good.
In our dating lives, there always comes a point when we meet her family. Look for signs of a strained relationship between her and her family members. If she shows signs of distance or even hostility, then beware as those signs might show up later on. When we’re with our family, we tend to be more comfortable, and that will allow her to show off her true colors. The only case in which this isn’t true is when her family has a history of being abusive with her.
11. She Isn’t Flexible.
The phrase “Go with the flow” is key here. If she can’t do this at all, you can probably do without her. Life happens, and last minute changes and compromises often happen as well. She needs to be able to be flexible and is open to compromises. If she gets frazzled or often resists compromises and has to stick with things that are marked up as her way, then it certainly is a red flag for your relationship down the road.
12. There’s A Lack Of Core Values.
You always want a girl who knows what she’s doing and where she’s going with her life, because you want her to be confident. Couples need to have similar life goals and core values in order to have any success. If there’s a lack of values or goals in her life, she’s probably not going anywhere in her life, and neither are you guys.
13. She’s Violent.
This one is pretty simple, and probably the clearest. If she is abusive to you in your relationship, it’s time to go.
14. She Doesn’t Appreciate You.
The lack of appreciation for you and everything that you do will get to you over time. You can give her everything in the world, but it doesn’t mean anything unless she appreciates you and your gifts.